READY TO FORGIVE

READY TO FORGIVE
March 20, 2018

Prayer: Lord you are my Joy and no one can take that from me but me.

Scripture: “I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.” Is 48:10

“Lord, you are kind and forgiving and have great love for those who call on you.” Ps.86:5

I was wrong and I knew it, but I had been hurt, become bitter, and I wanted to hurt back. The few people in the world that I considered to be my best friends at school began to act like I didn’t exist. My ideas were no longer important, needed. I was pushed to the side in favor of recognition and money. I was supposed to have received recognition with them. After all, they used my ideas, took my passion, my joy, and turned it into their own. I really didn’t care about the money. I cared deeply that they took my ideas, stole my passion, and created their own dreams from my desires. I was full of righteous indignation. “Vindicate your servant, Sharon, Oh, Lord. They’ve stolen my joy and my ideas.”

I did everything in my power to make them hurt like they were hurting me. I was anything but kind. I certainly had no intention of forgiving them. Love them? That was my dilemma. As much as I wanted to hurt them I couldn’t stop loving them. It took three long years, hours of prayer, and finally just giving up.

“Lord, I don’t know how this got started, but I’m ready for it to stop.” I’d had enough. Everything I knew about my faith, had learned in Bible study, had cut my teeth on was thrown in the Refiner’s fire. Ouch! Every time I thought I had forgiven the situation, it cropped back up in my memory banks spilling over into other parts of my life. The harder I tried to forgive the worse it got. I just couldn’t do it on my own.

“OK, Lord, You are kind and forgiving. You have great love for those who call on you. Please be kind to and forgiving through me. I just can’t do this by myself. You are going to have to do it through me and for me. I know you love me. I’m not just calling on you, I’m telling you ‘I GIVE UP’. Take care of this situation.”

I’ll be honest. I did some more squirming. It’s the hardest thing to date I’ve ever had happen in my life. It had invaded every part of me. Even today when I think about it I shudder to think how I allowed myself to sink so low. Now I think twice before I get upset with people. I’m more careful about what I say and how I say it. Thank goodness He didn’t stop loving me. I don’t know if I was vindicated or not. And my joy, they never really stole it. I put it down when I picked bitterness up. The Refiner’s fire took care of that. It reminded me that He is my Joy and no one can take Him away from me but me.